Unfinished Business

In anyone’s life I’m assuming there’s unfinished business. I’ve always been inclined to think it sad that someone may be dying and have a bucket list unfulfilled, letters unsent, or words unsaid to loved ones or friends— that was my thinking until last night. I had an epitome of sorts I’ll call it . . . a single thought where I found wisdom in the midst of an introspective moment.

I have lots of unfinished business— I have a first novel that will, more than likely, not see the light of day for revisions. I have a half-knitted scarf that sits in a basket in my family room by my fireplace. A cross-stitch folded up in my closet. Several sketches of portraits, but one in particular, that I’ve grown frustrated with by my lack of ability to truly capture the essence of a person. I have letters that are unsent and words I have not spoken. Having creations and sentiments unfinished to some may sound like I’ve quit or thrown in the towel. Ah, but that’s where seeing things through a different perspective comes in . . . the unfinished products have been a vehicle for a duration. An investment of time and energy, yes, but they have served their purpose and was what I needed to do at that moment in my life. I need to give myself permission to let go and move on the next novel or the next project.

It appears that every time I convince myself that I need to finish something that deep down I know should be unfinished, I regret it. I muddle through a project just to say it’s done or like yesterday, for example, I tried to say something to someone because I felt like it needed to be said. I tried to explain how I felt about a situation and it came out all wrong. I can’t go back and reword it. I can wish I hadn’t said it, but now it’s said. I’m at the mercy of time to help repair the frankness that might have been too much at the wrong time. A dear friend of mine sarcastically joked with me and asked, “Is everything that happens in your life a lesson?” I do believe it’s healthy to think along these lines, but I’m also not naïve to believe that everything is a lesson. If you really think the something is off in a project and it is unrepairable, or if something you want to say may be taken the wrong way, it’s okay to leave some things unfinished. I wish I would’ve taken my own advice yesterday and I’m taking it now as I put away that sketch. There is such a thing as unfinished business and its okay to leave it exactly where it is.