Massage Lessons

Don't worry I'm not quitting my day job and taking lessons in Massage Therapy. (Although I've been tempted.) But I did have a massage a few weeks ago. I try to schedule time at least once a year to treat myself. However, it had been two years since I had an opportunity, or rather I should say that I made the effort to make an appointment.

It was much needed. My body was stressed and my mind was fatigued. It's been a rough year with unique challenges. Witnessing the death of my grandmother was brutal. The slow, painful escape from this life to the next. A long-time friendship has also been tested. Bureaucracy at work and the daily grind combined to set me paralyzed by sadness, that turned into numbness. Many things I'd hoped to accomplish in 2015 didn't seem as important as they once were. I guess I'm admitting a bout of depression. I'm slowly making strides. And as I get older I discover the simple truth... life is hard. But what I also was reminded of this year is that there are lots of good people all around. Friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, students, past and present, my dear writing group, the Plot Sisters.  Lots of people who take the time to ask how my day is or wish me well.

During my hour-long massage I had the time to reflect and feel the tension being worked out of my muscles by the therapist. It felt good to let go and relax. Something I admittedly don't do well. As I lay on the table with only the sheet between me and the world I have to mention the massage reminded me of not only the emotional & mental state I'm in, but the physical shape I'm in as well. Two years ago I was in pretty good shape. Balancing a yoga and running routine that helped keep me flexible and strong. And now I'm not where I was. I haven't gained a bunch of weight, but I'm more soft in spots where I want to be firm. And that would be fine if I was comfortable, but I'm not. And not being comfortable is a horrible place to be. So I remind myself it was time to take note of what I want and why I want it. I'm gonna let that sit with me for a while and as I continue to refine and regroup holistically, maybe I'll set up another massage.