Year Round Friends

Yesterday my running/walking group met at my house for exercise, coffee, and conversation. There were eight of us that ran the gambit of age, religion, and life philosophies. They encourage me to wake up early during my summer vacation and run another mile.They are thoughtful to send gift cards and warm wishes to those who are struggling inside and outside our tribe. They are inviting to include my mom from time to time and my neighbor (who is now a solidified member to our weekly gatherings.) I am reminded of how important it is to have people in your life that give to you in meaningful ways. I am blessed. These ladies are my nine month colleagues in the trenches of public education and I’m proud to say—they are also my year round friends.

 

A Drive Down Memory Lane

            I had the privilege of doing something this week few 40 year olds have the privilege of doing. I was able to spend time with my last two living grandparents. My 90, soon to be 91 year old, grandfather from my paternal side and my 87 year old maternal grandmother. To be in the presence of these two individuals, at separate times, this week was overwhelming. My grandpa and grandma have seen me throughout every phase of my life and lived so much history of their own. They are— after all— members of the Greatest Generation. What they mean to me and my family is indescribable. And to have them with us —still— as they are entering their final years— is an immeasurable blessing.

            One of my aunt’s drove my grandfather from Southern Ohio to visit for the day. It had been at least seven years since my dad’s dad had been up to my parents’ home. My grandfather doesn’t like to leave his house for any length of time. He usually prefers his back porch with the fan blowing on him and his view of the creek bank. Although the view is dimming with the condition of his macular degeneration in his eyes, it is, as it always has been, the place that brings him comfort. I’m glad he was willing to exchange his environment for the day to share it with my family. I sat and listened for hours as my grandpa shared stories from a long time ago and provided his opinion of the direction the country seems to be is going. He shared advice that might help our President and Congress members get out of domestic and international troubles. He spoke about the war (in which he had an all too intimate account as a tank driver and purple heart recipient) and talked about his wife, my grandmother, whom we lost over 14 years ago. He described the frustrations of getting older. But believe it or not, for the amount of tough topics that were covered in conversation, most of the day was filled with smiles and laughter.

            On Thursday of this same week— I got to spend time with my mom’s mom. We went on a drive to find one of the many houses her and my grandfather had lived. (My grandfather passed away a year and a half ago.) The house we decided to visit was a small country drive away. When we turned on the former road my grandparents had lived, the houses looked different than I remembered. It appeared on a much smaller scale than it had existed in my mind. The plot of land they owned dwarfed by other homes on either side — their property used to be so vast. Once cows had pastured behind the fence row, but progress had long since replaced the pasture with a string of newer homes. My grandmother and I even turned around and passed by the old house again to make sure it was the right location. And before we returned to her current home we stopped at the ice cream store. Not the one we had stopped at decades before, it was closed in lieu of a newer, fancier structure just down the road. We did, however, eat an ice cream cone and in that moment we were transported back in time. In the car as we savored the summer treat the only reminder of the years that had passed was the fact I was the one in the driver’s seat. Grandma and I reminisced about time gone by. It was nostalgic on so many levels.  

            Like so many other families in the midst of navigating the rough waters of aging loved ones—we, as a family, face challenges as my grandparents’ health decreases. And as my grandparents’ health decreases, in turn, certain tasks increase for those family members that are providing care and transportation, but family takes care of their own. And as my grandparents have taken care of their children (my parents) and as they have chipped in when their grandchildren needed babysitting or a special favor, we are taking care of them. This week I am thankful for a generation I have been fortunate to know and I am reminded that time is our greatest gift we give to those we care.   

           

Great Expectations

Don’t worry we aren’t talking Charles Dickens today. We’re talking a regular human occurrence— getting our hopes up. I’m going to skip the negative side effect of when expectations don’t meet reality (because we’ve all experienced that occurrence and that’s not a fun post to write.) This post I’m focusing on the positive aspect. Today I’m talking VACATION! I read in a study that people are happier sometimes weeks and months before a trip because of the anticipation it yields. I believe it.

I’m getting excited for a little road trip outta state, across a handful of states, rather. I’m not sure what it is about trips that make me happy. Maybe it’s because as a kid my family wasn’t fortunate enough to take many vacations. Maybe it’s because I like adventure. Maybe it’s just the idea of getting away from it all for a few days that seems appealing. Or maybe it’s because our older neighbor growing up once gave me this piece of advice – “travel and see all you can when you’re young because when you’re older you don’t have the opportunities or the health.”  

Regardless of the reason I’m happy about a trip coming up. I’m happy. When I discovered an earlier planned trip this summer wasn’t going to work, I admit, I was bummed. But my friend (we’ll call her Awesome) came through. Awesome knows how much I like to travel and how rare my opportunities are. So she made it happen. I know Awesome wants to get away too. She’s a stay-at-home mom who has a supportive husband that encourages her to have an adventure every now and again and explore a different corner of the country. So it’s a mutual beneficial trip. We’ve traveled together before and we’re both very flexible and chill. And an added bonus is I do have a friend that lives in the vicinity of where we’re venturing. And although I do many things alone— and at this season in my life I’m okay with that— the one thing I don’t want to do is . . . travel alone.  

I want to be able to say a few years from now:  Remember when we saw . . .

or that one time when we were at . . .

It’s validating in some way to share a trip or a memory with someone. Oh, I’m sure that one of these days I will take a trip by myself, because my bucket list is too long and my friends who have flexible travel schedules are few. But for now— for my soon-to-be trip— I have great expectations for getting away and making memories to share. And don’t worry— I understand we might run into a traffic jam or the hotel may not be as advertised. Time stands still for no one and I want to follow my wise former neighbor’s advice. Thanks, Awesome and especially thank you, Mrs. Stewart!

A Perfect Summer Day

A morning run.

          Coffee with friends.
  
                         A long drive on back roads-
                                             windows down and music up.

A lunchtime yoga class.

                 Mowing the yard.

                                   Washing the car.

A popsicle on the porch swing.

             Phone call with family.

                         Hanging out with more friends at a local winery.

Definitely A Perfect Summer Day!