Monday, August 2, 2010

A Rapid End to the Season

Summer only has a few more weeks left according to my school calendar. I kinda left this blog for a while. Doing some other writing on the side for a writing class and of course more soul-searching.

The trip to the Outer Banks was an excellent journey. The only sounds were the sea gulls, the crashing waves, and the distant playing of kids in the surf. Gentle breeze and tranquility. A great combination. Only regret is I didn't stay a few days longer. My grandmother said she never thought she would get to see the ocean again... and hearing her say that made the 12 hour car ride worth it. Three generations at the beach- priceless.

Running is still a priority and I've signed up for a 10k in September to stir the ashes of motivation. I'd like to run it all, but realistically I have a feeling I might need to walk at least a mile. I hit all the appointments of optometrist, gynecologist, dentist, chiropractor... all except the dermatologist. One appointment I need to make before 2010 escapes.

The writing class was good. On certain days I felt even more compelled than ever to pursue writing full scale and others I've thought it just a foolish thought. I have no writing credentials, but how does anyone get them if they don't first assert themselves?

More post-masters work. I could use a few more weeks of summer, but as we are all limited by time, this season of life is coming to a rapid close. Change is around the corner. Daily routine and getting back to the grind is at hand. I hope to savor the last few weeks of lazy mornings and tall cups of coffee without interuptions and yet still succeed in getting a few errands and social appointments met.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Friday June 11, 2010

Daily exercise has been consistent and good. Endorphines are a great thing! I'm still feeling weak. I guess that is a mind-body connection. I know I have phsycial limits as to what my shoulder can handle and it is driving me nuts. I need more patience. I need to be ok with the fact my body still needs to heal before I can push its limits.

Not only is the concern just exercise and wanting to be in the best possible shape I can be in, but also it is the physical work I'd like to do around me house. I have flooring that is half ripped up and baseboards that are taken off the walls awaiting ceramic tile. The job is only half finished because when I exert myself there is a point where my shoulder cries out, "Enough!". And the aching begins. As I just came in from mowing I see outside projects I would also like to dive into. I finally have the time to do these enhancement projects and I have no physical strength to complete them. FRUSTRATING!

Perhaps this is the dilema everyone feels about getting older. Except I'm only 36 this can't already be older???? Where is the line between doing all you can do and acknowledging your limits and being content to do what you are capable of doing? I feel like I have so much pent up anxiety and energy and no where to release it. No household projects- definietly limits to the physicality of life.

Trying to end this entry with positive energy:) I am very proud of myself for my consistent effort in running. 3.1 miles yesterday AM and additional 2 in the evening. Tomorrow is the 5k in a local town. I trust the weather will be gentle on us as we run... 50% chance of thunderstorms. Excited not only for the run, but for the group that is doing it together.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Call me Crazy

Wednesday June 9, 2010

Crazy! I was suppose to get up eary and run with a co-worker at 8 am this morning, but it was raining. We ended up and rescheduled for 7 am tomorrow morning! I am not a morning person so this is a sacrifice. Remember I'm on vacation and on good days I go to bed around 1 am and get up around 9.

There are about 5 of us at work who are committed to run a 5k this Saturday, hence the trial run tomorrow. I have found that it is very motivating to run with other people. And when I'm not running with others I have extra motivation to run by myself because I know we are all "training" for an event.

My Vita-mix blender is suppose to be coming today. Hopefully, another step towards healthier living. Like anything else- the method or approach for a better life is only as effective as the will and the actual use of it. There's the UPS man now. Gotta go explore the delivery!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

June 5, 2010

Ahh Saturday...the weekend. Waking up to a nice cup of coffee is just what I needed. Ate breakfast and beat the rain into the gym. I tried out my new Nike ipod accessory for my treadmill run... pretty effective and definitely motivating.

Trying to focus on a particular aspect of self because my mind is going in a million different directions. Health. Is that too broad? When I stopped coaching a few years ago before I was hit by a drunk driver and had the car accident I made a commitment to myself that I was going to put myself first. However, after working through doctor appointments, physical therapy, and going through a period of "why me?" I wasn't able to really focus on self-improvement in a healthy way. Three years later I finally made exercise and diet a priority. Sidelined a month ago by a separated shoulder I'm still not quite 100% with my shoulder.

I am running consistently 3 to 4 times a week. With the help of some co-workers, I've been involved in going on five 5ks and I've lost over 10 lbs. I still would like to lose another 10, which would put me in the 130's:) An Exciting number!

Too much of anything can be detrimental including too much time alone. I'm teetering on the verge of too much. I just couldn't get out and socialize with people at graduation parties this weekend. Not quite sure why, but didn't have the energy to be a public figure. Sounds like there might be something wrong with how I've worded that or perhaps something wrong with me thinking those thoughts.

I'm going to head to the store for some DIY tools to pull up my baseboards for the tile guys and then going to do some reading. Perhaps that will be the remedy for a Saturday night.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Productive, Social, and Hopeful

June 3, 2010

The dates are confirmed and reservations for the trip are made. I hope this is a vacation everyone will enjoy. Looking forward to seeing the ocean once again. I remember in college there were a string of several years in a row I made an annual pilgram to see the Atlantic, but it has probably been a good ten years since last I saw it. As I reminded my mother- the emotion is excitement, not anxiousness or nervousness. We are excited! Everything will work out fine.

Moving forward on home projects as well. New ceremic tile is in sight. The estimator came today so I await the numbers to see how much I want or how much I can afford.

A conversation with an old friend felt a little odd though- distance continues to creep into a once close friendship. Saddened that I am losing touch, but I realize we are moving in different directions and it always takes two to stay connected. I'll cherish the memories and times I do have to connect with her though brief they may be.

Lunch with a co-worker and a good 2 mile run with a neighbor this evening. Feeling productive, social, and hopeful. A nice beginning to the season.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Finding me

June 2, 2010

I'm 36 and single. I have the whole summer off to... well, that's just it. I have the whole summer off to figure out what to do with the summer. 9 months out of the year I am attempting to educate the future citizens of the world and up until recently I was busy pursuing my masters degree and coaching.

After cleaning most of my house and getting some much needed errands accomplished over the past two days. There is silence. There is silence in my home except for the distant sound of the tv and darkness coming from the other rooms.

You know I'm desperate when I am starting to organize a trip to the beach with my mom and my 83 year old grandmother:) Outside of this trip- the biggest and most important journey that awaits me this summer is some soul-searching. Hence, the blog. I thought this might be a good avenue to explore aspects of myself. I'm sure there is much of me to be uncovered.